abiola in berlin

2004-02-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

My production company in Germany was so incredibly supportive. If I could always work like that I would be one very happy director. Now, it's about getting my super-producer Anna a list of opportunities, and watching her market the heck out of our little movies. Yay!

2004-02-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

And that Is the correct date & time, ladies & gents! I am back in NYC, preparing my app for Tribeca's Lab and after 2 days of intense jet lag, I am finally wide awake, I think. I’ve been watching my movie, and my only regret is that both the art department & I forgot to put books on the table so that the character is reading, andnot just a cute silly quirky black girl who goes to the white man’s house who has all the books. Yikes. OK. No way to change it now, so I’ll have to live with it, but I fought my battles with producers and sound to leave 2 nice long suck-teeth chups in there. Maybe I’m not so awake, I suddenly feel the need to take a nap and begin in an hour. Luckily, it’s Presidents Day.

2004-02-13T14:13:00.000-08:00

2/13/2004 2:13:04 PM
Ok so soo this time will be uptodate. I’m on the plane, and versus a few days ago when I felt like Berlin was kicking my ass, I am now feeling like I did the damn thing. I took Germany, and I am so ready to go home, but also I am so ready to come back. During the screening I was on pins and needles, but we got such a positive reaction PLUS, I like the movie. Although I will regret to my dying day (such a drama queen) not having th books on the table during the bar scene so that Mali is not just a dingy sexy black chick, I am overall happy with the film. Disappointed that my stars weren’t there—an indication perhaps of the climate of the set? But I will send them personal letters because I was very happy with their work. I feel vindicated.

Can't wait to go back in May...

Oh-- the time & date is a schnappsklapper-- my crew would really enjoy this!

2004-02-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

make that 5:40 am...
You ever hang out with 2 people who clearly really do not want to be hanging out with you? Ever been hanging out with a friend and a love connection develops between her and someone else and now you’re the 5th wheel to the coach, but you don’t want to leave her alone with the guy, although she secretly wishes you would, so you sit in a bar you don’t want to be in, nursing something you really don’t drink, and pretend that her conversation is amazingly hilarious to build her up to the guy who’s not really listening to you anyway, at 5 in the morning when you’ve just finally finished your total movie and really want to be home sleeping in your warm bed instead of on a spontaneous date between 2 people who don’t know you’re there in a cold, miserable European bar full of hideous butt ugly junkees of some sort who unfortunately are really the only people who seem to notice you as you turn your engagement rock around on your finger New York Subway style because you get the feeling that if they lunged at you that neither your friend or the future boyfriend would really notice, and the junkees seem to be laughing like they’ve seen that trick before,
Uh-huh.

Story done.

2004-02-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

Plus 6 more hours means 1 am german time. I just spoke to my man and it felt really good. I love you, baby. I really miss everyone, but it was good to get away. Well, color correction tomorrow! Tonight we finished the sound, and my producer gave me a hug for getting it done. That felt really good. We artists are so much like puppy dogs. Someone scratches our tummy and throws us a bone and we eat it right up. Well time for bed. Alisclad. (sp?) Tschuss!

Now how do I manage to stay until next Tuesday? I have yet to take the subway here. Tomorrow will be my first experience with it. I guess I’ll be one of those deer in headlight foreigners that I’m always rolling my eyes at at home.

Oh, you know what. I really like my movie. It’s light, fun and adorably cute. It’s definitely a very different tone for me, and will lighten up my reel. That’s the amazing thing about working with a writer, and I definitely plan to do so as much as possible. It moves one away from personal recurring themes, although this movie is now so Abiola.

Filmmakers of the world--- apply to the talent campus-- although I have yet to attend. Nothing beats this experience. Gotta call the airport tomorrow! And get reimbursed. Oh, a big lesson that I am pleased to be learning is when working with producers, ask everything before acting. Definitely not instinctual for a control freak, but I can make it happen.

2004-02-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Well not all of them, but it's definitely an asshole culture in the same way that barbados is a sell out culture (sorry bajans), jamaica is a warrier culture and guyanese are sun shiny loving, beautiful people...

2004-02-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

I've come to conclusion that germans are assholes.

2004-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 08, 2004 11:20pm berlin time
Ok, everyday a fresh hell, but also every day a fresh blessing. My composer—god bless him—is torn between doing his work and going to lectures of the talent campus. I do feel his pain as it is about music this year. Anyway, g’nite.

Ya know… There’s something either romantic or melancholy about traveling solo. But it’s definitely not pathetic. Definitely not. Right? I feel so singular in the world, and so mobile now too. Like I can pick up & go live in Zimbabawe for a year. Well, maybe not Zimbabwe, but definitely Ghana. I just found out that someone who I really respect and who Had to be 30, at least is only 24. Funny thing about adulthood. It hits different folks at different times. I’m ready to work on taboo. Still feeling awesome about 2004, and issues not withstanding, I am doing the damn thing.

I’m thinking about things. Possessions. This laptop and heavy 2000 camera that I lug everywhere. My bags of more luggage than anyone I’ve seen. My products for skin and haor. My books and writing things. My clothing and clothing and clothing. My satin pillowcase and velvet pillow tha I had to bring. My leopard pj pants that I’m wearing. Is it all necessary?

Ya damn skippy! Well maybe not the ton of clothes, but the things that make me more physically comforatable and able to do what I came to do. Yup.

We’re all really in this thing by ourselves aren’t we?

2004-02-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

OK. SO I am finally able to speak about my movie because I'm almost finished. Oh, Jeeeez. This was literally the most painful but exilerating job of my life. And that includes the V.I.M. sneaker sales job that I had when I was 18 and realized that the $300 I asked for to get my hair braided was alot of money. OH. Ugh. I don't even know where to begin and still can't talk about the whole thing. Instead, I'll do my own movie review.

No, I'm not happy, but I am satisfied. The film is really cute, quirky and funny. One of the frustrations was not enough time for anything. However, that's one of the parts of our little experiment here. The most amazing thing is getting to work with an internatinational cast and crew. I've had convos with a Ukrainian, Jamaican, Serb and Croatian all on the same day.

Thursday night we premiere, and that I'm very nervous about. Will my humor translate? My life has definitely come more into focus while I'm here. And I am more resolute than ever in my purpose. My only regret, and it ways HEAVILY on the soul, was not creating a safe work environment for my cast and crew. Ugh. I'm gonna need therapy after this. I just did not know how to respond (more later) when this crew member told me that she did not want me to touch her. Wow. They're out there with it here, like that!?

I keep playing the shoot over in my head, where I curse the %#$$%^ out and fire her on the spot.

2004-02-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

WELL> It's starting to seem like I might have a movie folks. I am almost exhaling, but not quite.

I know know exactly what adding insult to injury means! When will my Berlinale luck change? (Actually, I didn't belive in luck until I came here!) In the past hour, I've been locked solo in a travel agency after hours (kinda funny now) and lost my contacts cover in the sink. So wow, I am now in Berlin's Times Square. I've been here 2 weeks and didn't even know they had a "times Square." It's loud and rude and graphic, and I suddenly feel very much at home. There's BK and Mc Donald's -- I had it for midnight dinner, and the first time fast food didn't make me feel guilty. I am exhausted. My NYC peeps would not recognize me. Miss anti-jeans and tees looks very butch. Yeccch! I long for my cute boots. Who would've known that it would be so warm here.

2004-02-08T10:38:00.000-08:00

Ugh. I'm working with my composer and suddenly feeling alot less anxious than I have in a week. Here's to positive work environs and Thank you Ognan...

2004-02-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to keep y'all posted on the interesting folks that I keep meeting. My production manager's beautiful son came with her to an editing session today. He sat with me for about 5 minutes while she went to handle an issue. I spoke no German and he spoke no English, but somehow we started to communicate. No, actually it was about 15 minutes.

First, after dead slience, and misled attempts to speak slowly to each other in our respective languages, the boy started to bang the 2 water bottles he had together in STOMP fashion. I started to bang my water bottle onthe table. He then banged his on his head as did I. Before you know it, we had a funky vocal arrangement going for a couple of minutes until the cranky adult in the room stopped it. Well, I wasn't very cranky after that, actually.

Then he said, "basketball?" I said "Yes, me America, basketball." Playstation, he said. Yes, I exclaimed. Kobe bryant, shaquille Oneil he said. Und Los Angeles Lakers. We kept up a conversation of dunks, team names, and players names until I said, New York Knicks. No, he said. Apparently, he had never heard of them. Go figure.

2004-02-04T06:19:00.000-08:00

A recent hard-won lesson to my fellow filmmakers. (More to follow...) I had a very negative crew member who set the tone of the shoot by screaming at me in front of the cast and crew on our first take of our first shot. With any confrontation, one must always be aware of the end purpose. Now I direct industrial films for corporate clients for a living, and have produced and directed my own projects. However, I (uncharacteristically) let this person rail and rage on for the life of the shoot (with 2 "serious discussions") and basically let her paint me as an amateur because my end game was to complete my short within the alloted time. However, a bad crew member is like a cancer. Different people react to it in different ways. Cut it and cut it quickly, for the protection of your cast, crew and your own personal work.

2004-02-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Everyone keeps asking me am I nervous about my shoot. I'm not. I'm hyped, like I always am before a shoot-- when I've done my job, and I have.

2004-02-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

OK, the international pre-pro seems to have worked. I have a kick-ass crew except for one chickie who has been sarcastically calling me Madame director. Very happy with 99% of my actors. Costumes are coming together and the set is going to be banging. I've also had to massively cut the script. Stayed up super late to do it myself even though my eyeballs feel like they're bleeding, and it was worth it. I hate folks re-editing my work before I've had a stab at him. Now I know how my writer feels.

2004-02-01T05:12:00.000-08:00

2-1-04 8pm

Or as they say here 20:00. Yup everything’s in military time. And with good reason too.

Well, now I’ve f’d up royally. I’ve just been blasted by a producer for going over her head to speak to another producer. As she said, “it’s like a military, and there’s a chain of command.” Okay. All that I was trying to do was get some answers, really. Not go over anyone’s head, or step on anyone’s toes. I’m so embarrassed because I burst out crying. I really just feel totally stupid now, and like everyone thinks that I’m some kind of jerk. Ugh, I actually feel a little queasy thinking about it, and tomorrow is my first shoot day. Brilliant! Well, hopefully, everything will be okay, because before I was aware that we were warring, we had made up. Ugh. I’d better get used to it because it’s clearly super-different than producing yourself. Yuck! The idea that one can’t pick up the phone and talk to another. Isn’t the what caused me to leave acting? Jeez.

OK. So I am ready for tomorrow. A little nervous about Tuesday’s scarf shoot, but the whittling down to 3.5 pages of script should leave us plenty of time to work. I’m going to bed early, and hopefully the dreaded jetlag will be over. Last night, I was in a nether land between sleep and wake again while someone played loud music. I’m way too old for dormitory living, but it’s a nice experiment.

Funny that I’m wearing my fiancée’s US Army watch. Ha-ha.

2004-01-31T03:00:00.000-08:00

I´m in a cafe in the lobby of Mitte´s Backpackers listening to KRS-One shout "Queen keeps on faking it." Not a spectacular moment, except that I#m in Berlin, and remembering when I first heard those fighting words. I was rollerskating with my friends Nicky and Ginger up and down the sidewalks, we weren´t allowed yet to leave the block! The only music that I#ve heard so far has been that of my bros & sisters back home. I asked a new German friend, one of my drivers, Wolfram, to play me some of his music. He was listening to Jayzee! This even more impresses on me my main concern about the state of hip hop, my beloved hip hop today. We, young, black Africans in America have the ear of the world, literally, and what do we have to say that isn´t about "bitches and money." Ugh, it´s pathetic.

Please excuse typos, as I#m on a toally different keyboard. See! The # sign is where the ´ is, the y is where the z is, and I can#t even find the @ half the time to log on. Last night, I thought that I might be sick, which impressed upon me more than anything the importance of taking my vitamins while I´m here, drinking enough water and eating well. Now if only I can find a veggie menu!

Two days before shooting, and my objective today is to disect my script again, and make sure that all of my crew members are on the ball. I think that I#m over my jetlag, almost. I forgot to take my melatonin last night, and spent 4 hours inthe middle of the night in that hazy netherland between sleep and wake. It´s 12pm here, but 6am at home. See, who says that I can´t be productive at 6am, mom! Choos! (That´s German for Ciao!)

2004-01-27T03:02:00.000-08:00

I´m on my way to Germany to make a movie. Folks I meet along the way keep giving me cryptic messages. First there was the amazing man in my train station in the coffee stop, who said that he hasn´t missed a day of work in 29 years. When I exclaimed that that#s practically my whole life, he said, "Well, you gotta do what you love, Boobie!" He said that his doctor says that he´s his hero. He is my hero now too. then there was Marie, the gorgeous black granma queen in JFK. Here heart collapsed 3 months ago, and here she stood. The doctors came up with a new term for what happened to her called the cabbage! They´re using her surgery video to tech interns! And yet, here she stands now. Her advice? Live life to the fullest and have no regrets as she has many. She wanted to be a therapist. I think that she´s a damned good one.